Sometimes in a competition there is a major theme that presents itself in multiple times and in multiple ways. Have you discussed the title auction in your partnerships? When John and I prepared to play one of the top flight teams last week, our opponents were discussing whether the above auction was forcing or not. Some thought it was (their teammates) and our particular opponents were of the other opinion. Non forcing! I told John that I was happy that we had discussed the auction thoroughly and weren't going to get mixed up this set or ever! Copied ver batem from our system notes:
**********
**********
1C 1D, 1H
1C 1D, 1S
1C 1H, 1S
1D 1H, 1S
–only passable if you were ashamed of your first bid or bidding out of fright..
*********
*********
So three days forward we face the Lusky team --of all things and my partner responds 1H to my one diamond opening. I rebid 1S although came really close to just bidding 2H and getting on with life. Partner passed. Did she meet the specs of the Lusky/Knaap system notes? My hand: AQxx,Qxx.KJTx,xx Dummy: T9x,Txxxx,Ax,xxx There you are, should have gone with my intuition! Extra credit --what do you expect the Villain to lead on this auction. And if he doesn't lead "it" why not.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Mid-hand carding -pinpoint the communication process!
I mentioned in one of my previous posts that one of the biggest sections of your system notes might be the section headed by "carding". Indeed it is an important part of the communication scheme, essential to figure out who has what when on defense you have precious little time to develop your tricks. After all, the opps have announced the balance of power or a source of tricks due to a powerful trump suit.
There will be times when you wish to fool your declarer, knowing your partner can figure stuff out, but we'll defer that to when we've all won the blue ribbons once or twice. Before that, assume that good communication between you and your partner will foil declarer's plans every single time, or at least won't let you drop the overtrick.
Mid-hand carding has it's own unique rules. Whether playing standard or udca, the midhand carding remains the same unless specified different within the partnership:
1) In general I give attitude (udca or standard per agreement) on the suits we lead. I give a count card on the suits declarer attacks. This remains true throughout the hand after the opening lead on non-trump plays.
2) I you lead a suit mid-hand, you lead low from interest. So, if you hold an honor in the suit, lead low; if you hold junk, lead some high card. It tells your partner where your sources of tricks might be for the defense. For example, suppose you hold 973 in one suit and AQ5 in another and you don't see a K of your strong suit in dummy. Exit the 7 of the off suit telling partner "don't lead this suit back, think of something else". Partner will figure it out.
3) If the attitude of the suit is known lead a count card "fourth best". Suppose you lead an A and see the K in dummy and partner encourages most likely holding the Q. --lead back a "fourth best" remaining count card. Suppose you led the A against a preempt from AT742 and partner encourages with the K in dummy and you agree. Now lead the count card 4 "fourth best" from the original holing. Why? So the pair knows what's cashing and you can make appropriate switches. Remember attitude is known.
One would continue with the 2 from A1042 or the 7 from A72. Note that these are the same cards one would return if partner led the suit to you and you were returning the suit.
4) One of the favorite things expert players like to do is run their long suit so the opponents are forced to guess what to save. I haven't been caught in that a long time --Know why? My partnerships give a clear attitude signal at the first opportunity. "I'm saving/discarding this suit partner". This card is now followed by a count card (odd or even number) Most of my partnerships figure it out from there.
5) Make sure to discuss what to do with a singleton in the dummy. My preference is to continue "attitude". A discouraging card means I want you to switch to the suit in dummy where you can see tricks coming for our side. An unusual high card means "make an unusual shift, partner", most likely to the strong suit in dummy --for a ruff or isolation or something. Make sure to discuss this however, not every partnership prefers this method.
A fun thing to do is go over a set or two you've played with your favorite parnter and talk about carding and what message you are conveying as you lead, pitch and follow. You'll be amazed by how smooth that conversation piece is once the kinks get worked out.
Hope this helps. Ask if you have questions!
There will be times when you wish to fool your declarer, knowing your partner can figure stuff out, but we'll defer that to when we've all won the blue ribbons once or twice. Before that, assume that good communication between you and your partner will foil declarer's plans every single time, or at least won't let you drop the overtrick.
Mid-hand carding has it's own unique rules. Whether playing standard or udca, the midhand carding remains the same unless specified different within the partnership:
1) In general I give attitude (udca or standard per agreement) on the suits we lead. I give a count card on the suits declarer attacks. This remains true throughout the hand after the opening lead on non-trump plays.
2) I you lead a suit mid-hand, you lead low from interest. So, if you hold an honor in the suit, lead low; if you hold junk, lead some high card. It tells your partner where your sources of tricks might be for the defense. For example, suppose you hold 973 in one suit and AQ5 in another and you don't see a K of your strong suit in dummy. Exit the 7 of the off suit telling partner "don't lead this suit back, think of something else". Partner will figure it out.
3) If the attitude of the suit is known lead a count card "fourth best". Suppose you lead an A and see the K in dummy and partner encourages most likely holding the Q. --lead back a "fourth best" remaining count card. Suppose you led the A against a preempt from AT742 and partner encourages with the K in dummy and you agree. Now lead the count card 4 "fourth best" from the original holing. Why? So the pair knows what's cashing and you can make appropriate switches. Remember attitude is known.
One would continue with the 2 from A1042 or the 7 from A72. Note that these are the same cards one would return if partner led the suit to you and you were returning the suit.
4) One of the favorite things expert players like to do is run their long suit so the opponents are forced to guess what to save. I haven't been caught in that a long time --Know why? My partnerships give a clear attitude signal at the first opportunity. "I'm saving/discarding this suit partner". This card is now followed by a count card (odd or even number) Most of my partnerships figure it out from there.
5) Make sure to discuss what to do with a singleton in the dummy. My preference is to continue "attitude". A discouraging card means I want you to switch to the suit in dummy where you can see tricks coming for our side. An unusual high card means "make an unusual shift, partner", most likely to the strong suit in dummy --for a ruff or isolation or something. Make sure to discuss this however, not every partnership prefers this method.
A fun thing to do is go over a set or two you've played with your favorite parnter and talk about carding and what message you are conveying as you lead, pitch and follow. You'll be amazed by how smooth that conversation piece is once the kinks get worked out.
Hope this helps. Ask if you have questions!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Balancing actions after two passes!
Everyone knows pretty quickly that bids in different positions take on different meanings. Take for example the pretty innocuous 1N bid. In opening position it signifies 15-17 hcp and a balanced hand (standard treatment). As an overcall, it denotes 15-18 hcp, as response to a minor 6-9, a major 6-11 and in the balancing chair; voila! 11-14.
There are a whole cadre of bids after the bidding goes 1x P P that take on different meanings when made in this position. One of the reasons we alter these bids is that there is already something extremely significant we know when the bidding goes 1x P P.
1) Responder has less than 5 hcp.
2) Partner could not make a TOX or overcall –what does that mean?
3) Responder doesn’t think the opponents have a huge trump fit.
Given all of that, actions in the balancing chair take on a different flavor from immediate overcalls. These actions can be separated into two categories: 1) unpassed hand 2) passed hand.
Unpassed hand:
Over 1M or 1m openings, a 1N balance means 11-14 hcp. Some people play systems on, other systems off. Make sure to come to an agreement with your pard. Here are some further bids.
1N 11-14
X and 1N 15-17
2N 18-20
X and 2N 21+
Jumps in suits are value-showing. Remember you’re preempting no-one here, rather engaging in your own constructive sequences. So two level and three level bids show six card suits and values. Eleven hcp if a single jump, more if a double jump.
Q bids.
1m P P 2m also shows at minimum constructive values (opening hand) as opposed to the preempt junk you bids in direct seat; Majors 1M P P 2M (same major) is Constructive Michaels showing the other major and a minor.
There are some hands which are terribly difficult to show in this position. Those are the strong one suited or two suited hands (very strong) where passing a TOX might not be optimum. Ex. AKQxxxx,KQJ,Ax,x over 1C or AKJxx,Kx,x,AKJxx over 1D. For these you might manufacture a Q bid then jump in some suit!
Passed hand:
Since we don’t have strong nt hands to show, 2N now is unusual for the lower unbid suits. i.e. P, (1D) P (P) 2N shows clubs and hearts –less than an opening hand. Duh.
Encore Performance
There are a whole cadre of bids after the bidding goes 1x P P that take on different meanings when made in this position. One of the reasons we alter these bids is that there is already something extremely significant we know when the bidding goes 1x P P.
1) Responder has less than 5 hcp.
2) Partner could not make a TOX or overcall –what does that mean?
3) Responder doesn’t think the opponents have a huge trump fit.
Given all of that, actions in the balancing chair take on a different flavor from immediate overcalls. These actions can be separated into two categories: 1) unpassed hand 2) passed hand.
Unpassed hand:
Over 1M or 1m openings, a 1N balance means 11-14 hcp. Some people play systems on, other systems off. Make sure to come to an agreement with your pard. Here are some further bids.
1N 11-14
X and 1N 15-17
2N 18-20
X and 2N 21+
Jumps in suits are value-showing. Remember you’re preempting no-one here, rather engaging in your own constructive sequences. So two level and three level bids show six card suits and values. Eleven hcp if a single jump, more if a double jump.
Q bids.
1m P P 2m also shows at minimum constructive values (opening hand) as opposed to the preempt junk you bids in direct seat; Majors 1M P P 2M (same major) is Constructive Michaels showing the other major and a minor.
There are some hands which are terribly difficult to show in this position. Those are the strong one suited or two suited hands (very strong) where passing a TOX might not be optimum. Ex. AKQxxxx,KQJ,Ax,x over 1C or AKJxx,Kx,x,AKJxx over 1D. For these you might manufacture a Q bid then jump in some suit!
Passed hand:
Since we don’t have strong nt hands to show, 2N now is unusual for the lower unbid suits. i.e. P, (1D) P (P) 2N shows clubs and hearts –less than an opening hand. Duh.
Encore Performance
Try not to balance rich in lho's suit. Think our dear instructor Tony Glynne used the word "never" three times when describing this concept. Look at number 2 above, partner, known to be short, did not make a TOX nor overcalled a suit. What makes you think you belong in the auction? Also, if you have a fit with lho and partner has a fit with lho, perhaps opps have a fit elsewhere. Don't balance them into their better fit. Sit back quietly, pass and defend well!
Hope this straightens out some confusion –because without discussion there will be confusion. Trust me, and I've lost the mp, imps and events to prove it. Good luck
Sunday, January 11, 2009
On hesitations...
....It was thus, I was deep in thought about the entire hand, my proposed defense and our carding methods. I held two clubs in my hand. I hesitated on the first club play but the real 'call the director' error was the hesitation on my second club play (my one and only card left) Here, is my guidance regarding that incident and the suggestion for rectification.Much too good not to share with the rest of you! Enjoy learning from my mistake.************
From John...
There are times when it is appropriate to do one's thinking about the hand on defense and other times when it is not (or when if you do, you must tell declarer that you are thinking about the whole hand, not this trick). Obviously, when you are on lead you can think all you want to before leading. You can also generally think all you want when you are deciding whether to win a trick (if you have a choice of plays) or when you are deciding what to discard (although it would be improper to hesitate simply to make declarer think that you have a discarding problem), or when you have a decision about whether or not to cover declarer's card (although again, only if you have a real choice of plays). And it's OK to take some time at trick one as opening leader's partner to think about the hand, although it is courteous to announce that you are thinking about the hand if that is what you are doing.
But there are some 'time-sensitive' situations when you simply must play in tempo when you have no significant choice of plays from the standpoint of trick-taking potential. Those include the following:
1. Declarer has or may have a 'finesse or drop' guess, as in this case (and yes, once she played the ace on the first club trick, it was apparent that it was at least possible that she had such a guess).
2. Declarer leads a card that you may or may not want to cover, e.g., dummy has K9xx and declarer leads the 10, or dummy has the A10xx and declarer leads the J.
3. Declarer leads low toward a holding like the KJ.
In those situations, when declarer leads at the critical moment and you hesitate, declarer will reasonably think that you have something to think about that is germane to a decision about what to play to this trick. If you find that you have hesitated about something else than what to play to this trick, the ethical thing to do is to say before playing or as you play 'I have no problem on this trick' or 'I was thinking about the whole hand, not this trick' (assuming that this is true--of course one should not say this if declarer has caught you napping in a cover/noncover situation). This is particularly the case if you hesitate when you only have one card in your hand that you could legally play to the trick.
Now Smith Echo creates some choices on defense that are a little different from standard signalling. I can understand your confusion about whether to echo in this situation--I can see arguments in both directions. The best time to be thinking about this would be at trick 1, i.e, don't turn your own card over until you have decided whether to echo on what declarer leads. However, having not done so, it was probably, but just barely, OK to do so at trick 2 when declarer led the ace, since obviously you were not going to be taking that trick. Note that it really wouldn't have been OK if declarer had led low toward the KJ10, since now the hesitation would have suggested that you had the club A. So if declarer had led low and you had hesitated about what to play from 85, that would have been potentially problematic, although not necessarily, since your hesitation might not affect declarer's play, particularly if she had the ace.
The point I am trying to make here is that in these time-sensitive situations, declarer will interpret a hesitation as meaning that you have something to think about that is germane to trick-taking, not that you are thinking about whether or not to give count or whether or not to make a Smith Echo. And if it turns out otherwise, declarer is going to be justifiably upset and may call the director, at all levels of the game. And if it turns out that you hesitated when you had only one legal card to play to the trick, that is really going to cause a problem. So if you find yourself hesitating when you have no trick-taking issue, and particularly when you have only one card you could play, you need to say something to make sure that declarer is not deceived.
So one thing about playing Smith Echo is that you do have to be on top of it, and thinking all the time about whether you are going to echo or not. Now against declarers who understand Smith Echo, they are probably going to understand what you are thinking about when they lead the A and you hesitate, so you probably have no problem there. When you hesitate on the second round, that is a whole other kettle of fish. I understand the argument 'why would I hesitate with the Q?' But the other side of that is 'why on earth would you hesitate when you only have one club left?' And I have seen plenty of people hesitate with Qx left in hopes that declarer would prematurely call a card from dummy or play a card from his hand.
If you want to read the bridge laws about this, you can look at Law 73.D on the ACBL website. They basically say that we should all try to maintain a steady tempo, that we should be particularly careful in positions in which variations may work to the benefit of our side, but that declarer draws inferences at his/her own risk.
From John...
There are times when it is appropriate to do one's thinking about the hand on defense and other times when it is not (or when if you do, you must tell declarer that you are thinking about the whole hand, not this trick). Obviously, when you are on lead you can think all you want to before leading. You can also generally think all you want when you are deciding whether to win a trick (if you have a choice of plays) or when you are deciding what to discard (although it would be improper to hesitate simply to make declarer think that you have a discarding problem), or when you have a decision about whether or not to cover declarer's card (although again, only if you have a real choice of plays). And it's OK to take some time at trick one as opening leader's partner to think about the hand, although it is courteous to announce that you are thinking about the hand if that is what you are doing.
But there are some 'time-sensitive' situations when you simply must play in tempo when you have no significant choice of plays from the standpoint of trick-taking potential. Those include the following:
1. Declarer has or may have a 'finesse or drop' guess, as in this case (and yes, once she played the ace on the first club trick, it was apparent that it was at least possible that she had such a guess).
2. Declarer leads a card that you may or may not want to cover, e.g., dummy has K9xx and declarer leads the 10, or dummy has the A10xx and declarer leads the J.
3. Declarer leads low toward a holding like the KJ.
In those situations, when declarer leads at the critical moment and you hesitate, declarer will reasonably think that you have something to think about that is germane to a decision about what to play to this trick. If you find that you have hesitated about something else than what to play to this trick, the ethical thing to do is to say before playing or as you play 'I have no problem on this trick' or 'I was thinking about the whole hand, not this trick' (assuming that this is true--of course one should not say this if declarer has caught you napping in a cover/noncover situation). This is particularly the case if you hesitate when you only have one card in your hand that you could legally play to the trick.
Now Smith Echo creates some choices on defense that are a little different from standard signalling. I can understand your confusion about whether to echo in this situation--I can see arguments in both directions. The best time to be thinking about this would be at trick 1, i.e, don't turn your own card over until you have decided whether to echo on what declarer leads. However, having not done so, it was probably, but just barely, OK to do so at trick 2 when declarer led the ace, since obviously you were not going to be taking that trick. Note that it really wouldn't have been OK if declarer had led low toward the KJ10, since now the hesitation would have suggested that you had the club A. So if declarer had led low and you had hesitated about what to play from 85, that would have been potentially problematic, although not necessarily, since your hesitation might not affect declarer's play, particularly if she had the ace.
The point I am trying to make here is that in these time-sensitive situations, declarer will interpret a hesitation as meaning that you have something to think about that is germane to trick-taking, not that you are thinking about whether or not to give count or whether or not to make a Smith Echo. And if it turns out otherwise, declarer is going to be justifiably upset and may call the director, at all levels of the game. And if it turns out that you hesitated when you had only one legal card to play to the trick, that is really going to cause a problem. So if you find yourself hesitating when you have no trick-taking issue, and particularly when you have only one card you could play, you need to say something to make sure that declarer is not deceived.
So one thing about playing Smith Echo is that you do have to be on top of it, and thinking all the time about whether you are going to echo or not. Now against declarers who understand Smith Echo, they are probably going to understand what you are thinking about when they lead the A and you hesitate, so you probably have no problem there. When you hesitate on the second round, that is a whole other kettle of fish. I understand the argument 'why would I hesitate with the Q?' But the other side of that is 'why on earth would you hesitate when you only have one club left?' And I have seen plenty of people hesitate with Qx left in hopes that declarer would prematurely call a card from dummy or play a card from his hand.
If you want to read the bridge laws about this, you can look at Law 73.D on the ACBL website. They basically say that we should all try to maintain a steady tempo, that we should be particularly careful in positions in which variations may work to the benefit of our side, but that declarer draws inferences at his/her own risk.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
3 Level Interference over NT
The opponents never leave you alone. Partner and I were playing online and Partner opened 1S. (3C). There you are. Now what.
First if you are a passed hand: Bid what you think is the optimum contract. Remember that no call is forcing after passing so if you want to show your six card suit before offering four card support, don't. You may just get passed in the new suit and there you are. If you are an unpassed hand. A new suit is forcing to game.
If you have no support and less than game going values, pass, wait for pard to X in or lho to raise or something.
Three level free bids force to game or 4m (I believe) i.e. strong actions. If you want to raise the major, do it thus: 4M is still preemptive. 3M is anything from a good constructive raise to a bad limit raise. 4 of the preempt suit is a Major suit raise stating that you would have gone to game without the preempt based on values.
If you look at your hand when pard opens and say "this is a hand that is going to game" (or more) Q bid the 3 level preempt at the four level. This way opener can advance that auction based on the way you made your major suit raise. This was taught to me by Bill Hardy, certainly capable of adequately explaining such standard expert strategies. Use them often! and Have Fun!
First if you are a passed hand: Bid what you think is the optimum contract. Remember that no call is forcing after passing so if you want to show your six card suit before offering four card support, don't. You may just get passed in the new suit and there you are. If you are an unpassed hand. A new suit is forcing to game.
If you have no support and less than game going values, pass, wait for pard to X in or lho to raise or something.
Three level free bids force to game or 4m (I believe) i.e. strong actions. If you want to raise the major, do it thus: 4M is still preemptive. 3M is anything from a good constructive raise to a bad limit raise. 4 of the preempt suit is a Major suit raise stating that you would have gone to game without the preempt based on values.
If you look at your hand when pard opens and say "this is a hand that is going to game" (or more) Q bid the 3 level preempt at the four level. This way opener can advance that auction based on the way you made your major suit raise. This was taught to me by Bill Hardy, certainly capable of adequately explaining such standard expert strategies. Use them often! and Have Fun!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
How To Spot A Bridge Addict
How To Spot A Bridge Addict
Imagine yourself at some social gathering and suddenly the topic of bridge comes up. You don’t know how, but before you know it a person with foam flecking the corners of her mouth is staring into your face with the wide-eyed desperation of a heroin addict in need of a hit, trying to convince you that playing bridge is really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fun and that you ought to try it. Now. Really fun. Try it now, right now. The judge, the guests and your bride-to-be can just cool their damned heels for a minute. Really try fun now bridge.
A card table, two other bridge addicts, four chairs, bidding boxes and an endless supply of boards will instantly appear, for all bridge addicts have the cartoon character-like ability to produce these items upon demand from a seemingly normal pant leg. You will be led to your place at the table and the three of them will commence simultaneously to explain to you what each feels are the most important aspects of the game. Once you have received more technical instructions than it takes to assemble a Volvo, the three of them will in unison encourage you to relax and just enjoy yourself because the main thing about bridge is that it’s really, really fun. Really.
Cards pass through your hand and then the first game is over, you guess, because the three of them are chorusing about how much fun they had while inspecting you like a lab animal for signs of addiction. A discussion (‘discussion’ is what bridge addicts call a fight) begins (breaks out) between your opponents. The female of the two complains that her partner did not make the correct uppercut play, whereupon she demonstrates proper uppercut technique by striking his jaw with her fist. A scrum ensues which twists the bridge table into a metallic piece of origami. Your partner, the original bridge addict, manages to separate the two addicts who live in her pant leg and remind them, jerking significant nods towards you, that bridge is really, really fun. The three of them reassemble the bridge table (which now has a permanent wobble) and sit down amid sniffles and threats muttered under the breath, all staring at you with crazed smiles. Time to play another hand. Religious texts refer to your current circumstances as ‘hell’ and suggest that it lasts a very, very long time.
The trouble with spotting a bridge addict and thus avoiding such catastrophe is that they look very much like normal people; that is, very much like people with other, equally severe but less annoying psychological problems. An effort to eradicate them by destroying all books on bridge proved unsuccessful after bridge addicts developed uncanny powers of recall like those rebels in Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451. That dangerous looking guy on the bus with the mad stare and an ominous bulge in his rucksack, with tattoos all over his shaved head, wearing nothing but a vest, army fatigues and boots in the dead of winter? You may try to comfort yourself by pretending he’s merely a psychotic hatchet murderer but the truth is he’s probably a bridge addict and the tattoos are probably Sanskrit for Jacoby Transfers, that portion of bridge lore entrusted to his care.
No, you’re basically on your own when it comes to dealing with these maniacs, which is why it pays to know how to spot one right off and then get while the getting’s good. So imagine yourself at a party that you suspect bridge addicts might attend. Here are a few dead giveaways:
1. Addicts love to segue into a discussion about bridge from totally unrelated topics:
You: “So the pain my chest was really getting bad and then my left arm went numb. I thought I might just be able to drive myself to Emanuel Hospital which is on the east side of the Fremont Bridge – ”
Addict: “Bridge? Do you play? What conventions do you use?”
2. Anytime a finger is run over a stack of papers, mimicking the sound of a deck of cards being shuffled, a bridge addict will exhibit the Pavlovian responses of dilated pupils, profuse sweating and rapid, shallow breathing.
3. Bridge addicts will move in one direction along the buffet table while insisting that dishes be passed along in the opposite direction. They will often launch into cheerful, spontaneous chatter about how they like to make a balanced food plate for themselves but that sometimes it’s nice to have a whole lot of one kind of dish – what they refer to as the ‘long’ dish – and none of another (the ‘void’ dish). They will ask your opinion on this natter with an expression reminiscent of Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
If you notice any of these signs, the first rule is DON’T PANIC! Bridge addicts are well known for their ability to smell fear. However, there is not a moment to lose if you want to get out before it’s too late: Try these techniques:
1. Say to the bridge addict: “You know, I think I heard of a table in Susanville that needs a fourth.” For your own safety, be sure you are not standing in the path to the door when you use this technique. Also, be sure that it is not your car blocking the bridge addict’s as they try to leave.
2. Steer the bridge addict in the direction of a hat rack. Introduce hat rack as a friend who would love to know more about bridge. Quietly slip away. It helps if you’ve already retrieved your hat so you don’t risk disturbing the addict several hours later when you depart.
3. Try this: “Yeah, I have a friend who plays bridge. He said that once he was declarer with a balanced hand, a 3-4 fit and 24 combined points and somehow he made seven spades. How do you figure he did that?”
You don’t have to know what any of these words mean. The effect of them will be to cause the bridge addict to pace back and forth in a corner for hours muttering to herself, her head down and her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Everyone else at the party will thank you.
4. This is my favorite. Lean nonchalantly against something handy to lean against and intone in a casual voice, “Yeah, I played bridge years ago. Even taught the game for a while. Had this one older guy who was my student who did okay for himself, considering. Fella by the name of Lusky, as I recall. Heard of him?”
This Lusky guy is apparently really, really good at the really, really fun game of bridge, but that doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that the bridge addict will fall to her knees like she’s receiving a visitation from the Angel Gabriel. You now have a slave for life which is really, really handy should you have some yard work that needs to be done.
Also, as the teacher of Lusky, you can now tell the addict anything you want about the game of bridge and even if it flies in the face of everything she knows, she will believe you. For example, tell her that when alerting unusual bids by her partner she should now set down her cards, stand on her chair, scream “Gompers!” at the top of her lungs and then spit on the floor. Take a stroll past the bridge club one evening when she’s playing, I swear she’ll be doing it. Really. In fact, years later, when even she admits that you were putting her on, she will continue to insist that in some strange way following your instructions actually improved her game. But that’s an addict for you.
For my friend Isolde Knaap, the most addicted bridge player I know, on the occasion of her fiftieth birthday.
© Andrew W. Osborn February 18, 2004
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Imagine yourself at some social gathering and suddenly the topic of bridge comes up. You don’t know how, but before you know it a person with foam flecking the corners of her mouth is staring into your face with the wide-eyed desperation of a heroin addict in need of a hit, trying to convince you that playing bridge is really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fun and that you ought to try it. Now. Really fun. Try it now, right now. The judge, the guests and your bride-to-be can just cool their damned heels for a minute. Really try fun now bridge.
A card table, two other bridge addicts, four chairs, bidding boxes and an endless supply of boards will instantly appear, for all bridge addicts have the cartoon character-like ability to produce these items upon demand from a seemingly normal pant leg. You will be led to your place at the table and the three of them will commence simultaneously to explain to you what each feels are the most important aspects of the game. Once you have received more technical instructions than it takes to assemble a Volvo, the three of them will in unison encourage you to relax and just enjoy yourself because the main thing about bridge is that it’s really, really fun. Really.
Cards pass through your hand and then the first game is over, you guess, because the three of them are chorusing about how much fun they had while inspecting you like a lab animal for signs of addiction. A discussion (‘discussion’ is what bridge addicts call a fight) begins (breaks out) between your opponents. The female of the two complains that her partner did not make the correct uppercut play, whereupon she demonstrates proper uppercut technique by striking his jaw with her fist. A scrum ensues which twists the bridge table into a metallic piece of origami. Your partner, the original bridge addict, manages to separate the two addicts who live in her pant leg and remind them, jerking significant nods towards you, that bridge is really, really fun. The three of them reassemble the bridge table (which now has a permanent wobble) and sit down amid sniffles and threats muttered under the breath, all staring at you with crazed smiles. Time to play another hand. Religious texts refer to your current circumstances as ‘hell’ and suggest that it lasts a very, very long time.
The trouble with spotting a bridge addict and thus avoiding such catastrophe is that they look very much like normal people; that is, very much like people with other, equally severe but less annoying psychological problems. An effort to eradicate them by destroying all books on bridge proved unsuccessful after bridge addicts developed uncanny powers of recall like those rebels in Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451. That dangerous looking guy on the bus with the mad stare and an ominous bulge in his rucksack, with tattoos all over his shaved head, wearing nothing but a vest, army fatigues and boots in the dead of winter? You may try to comfort yourself by pretending he’s merely a psychotic hatchet murderer but the truth is he’s probably a bridge addict and the tattoos are probably Sanskrit for Jacoby Transfers, that portion of bridge lore entrusted to his care.
No, you’re basically on your own when it comes to dealing with these maniacs, which is why it pays to know how to spot one right off and then get while the getting’s good. So imagine yourself at a party that you suspect bridge addicts might attend. Here are a few dead giveaways:
1. Addicts love to segue into a discussion about bridge from totally unrelated topics:
You: “So the pain my chest was really getting bad and then my left arm went numb. I thought I might just be able to drive myself to Emanuel Hospital which is on the east side of the Fremont Bridge – ”
Addict: “Bridge? Do you play? What conventions do you use?”
2. Anytime a finger is run over a stack of papers, mimicking the sound of a deck of cards being shuffled, a bridge addict will exhibit the Pavlovian responses of dilated pupils, profuse sweating and rapid, shallow breathing.
3. Bridge addicts will move in one direction along the buffet table while insisting that dishes be passed along in the opposite direction. They will often launch into cheerful, spontaneous chatter about how they like to make a balanced food plate for themselves but that sometimes it’s nice to have a whole lot of one kind of dish – what they refer to as the ‘long’ dish – and none of another (the ‘void’ dish). They will ask your opinion on this natter with an expression reminiscent of Jack Nicholson in The Shining.
If you notice any of these signs, the first rule is DON’T PANIC! Bridge addicts are well known for their ability to smell fear. However, there is not a moment to lose if you want to get out before it’s too late: Try these techniques:
1. Say to the bridge addict: “You know, I think I heard of a table in Susanville that needs a fourth.” For your own safety, be sure you are not standing in the path to the door when you use this technique. Also, be sure that it is not your car blocking the bridge addict’s as they try to leave.
2. Steer the bridge addict in the direction of a hat rack. Introduce hat rack as a friend who would love to know more about bridge. Quietly slip away. It helps if you’ve already retrieved your hat so you don’t risk disturbing the addict several hours later when you depart.
3. Try this: “Yeah, I have a friend who plays bridge. He said that once he was declarer with a balanced hand, a 3-4 fit and 24 combined points and somehow he made seven spades. How do you figure he did that?”
You don’t have to know what any of these words mean. The effect of them will be to cause the bridge addict to pace back and forth in a corner for hours muttering to herself, her head down and her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Everyone else at the party will thank you.
4. This is my favorite. Lean nonchalantly against something handy to lean against and intone in a casual voice, “Yeah, I played bridge years ago. Even taught the game for a while. Had this one older guy who was my student who did okay for himself, considering. Fella by the name of Lusky, as I recall. Heard of him?”
This Lusky guy is apparently really, really good at the really, really fun game of bridge, but that doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that the bridge addict will fall to her knees like she’s receiving a visitation from the Angel Gabriel. You now have a slave for life which is really, really handy should you have some yard work that needs to be done.
Also, as the teacher of Lusky, you can now tell the addict anything you want about the game of bridge and even if it flies in the face of everything she knows, she will believe you. For example, tell her that when alerting unusual bids by her partner she should now set down her cards, stand on her chair, scream “Gompers!” at the top of her lungs and then spit on the floor. Take a stroll past the bridge club one evening when she’s playing, I swear she’ll be doing it. Really. In fact, years later, when even she admits that you were putting her on, she will continue to insist that in some strange way following your instructions actually improved her game. But that’s an addict for you.
For my friend Isolde Knaap, the most addicted bridge player I know, on the occasion of her fiftieth birthday.
© Andrew W. Osborn February 18, 2004
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Monday, December 22, 2008
Thoughts from a mentee
In the January/February Trumpet Hendrik Sharples touched on a most important aspect of the bridge world - mentoring. Yes, despite the "pro system" which exists, mentorship in its purest form is alive and well.
Here are Isolde’s thoughts:
1) Find a mentor who embraces your communication style. One mentor once told me to "read a book". Hmmm, he didn't know that in general, I hate to read. Another once answered a bridge question in a cryptic three word e-mail. Hmmm, but buy him a drink after the game is over and you will receive a wealth of information. What worked for me is e-mail. From the moment I presented my first hand via the keyboard, we were off. There was something calming about the physical distance, and the forgiving time lapse added to the learning process.
2) Don't get too many mentors. You'll avoid a lot of anguish and confusion if you stick to one or two mentors. This is the problem. For the most part there is a element of style in bridge, and there certainly are different approaches. I once heard three different responses from three mentors to the same question, true story. Pick a style that works for you (for me the style was extremely structured and mathematical, where communication systems were clearly defined).
3) Pay attention to what your mentor says. Take copious notes if you forget (I started writing down all my hands when I played, every last spot card). The most dreaded words I hear are: "Haven't we gone over that?" I don't believe I've heard those words often, but have said on occasion, "we've gone over that already.”
4) Work hard. Add your own blood, sweat and tears to the process. Before you approach your mentor with a difficult bridge problem, check the bridge encyclopedia, do a Google search, check the references your mentor gave you. Can you find an expert who has played the same hand, online perhaps, so you can review his/her declarer play card for card? Now your mentor will see that you are as invested as he/she is.
5) Be a true friend, since you can offer your mentor little besides friendship. Watch him/her play the major events. Congratulate him/her on the big wins. Make sure that your competitive passion is as tuned for your mentor as it is for your own level of play with your partners and teammates. Flowers, cards and the traditional "first place or don't come home" exchange, e-mailed before every "biggie", were my attempts at reciprocal karma.
6) Don't argue with your mentor. If, for whatever reason, you can't accept the guidance he/she gives at the time it was given, use this phrase to end the conversation: "I've heard you and appreciate your thoughts. I'll wait until I get as good as you to understand the concept in its entirety.”
7) Be trustworthy. Full-blown mentorship is a very intense private exchange. Trust that relationship to guard the special communications you share which are not meant for the entire world to hear.
8) Share what you learn. Once you think you are capable, share your mentorship teachings with others. I've written several bridge articles based on my mentor's teachings. I've also developed a special relationship with bridge players "in the making", Laura Beal, Dave Coleman, Paul Cieslak and others.
I can also share two potential problem areas in mentorship situations.
• Get your partner to buy into your mentor's approach to bridge. If it's a constant issue between you and your partner to accept your mentor's teaching, get a different mentor or partner. It isn't going to work for anyone.
• Remember that you will be competing against the person who is there to teach you. Make sure that you know his/her commitment is ultimately to his/her partners and teammates. The fact that he/she is willing to help develop players able to compete successfully at the national level makes goal setting easy. For both you and your mentor it isn't about getting an 80% in the local club game; it's about making it to the third day of the Blue Ribbon Pairs.
Hope these ideas are of help and you will enjoy a mentorship journey soon! For women this journey is essential. We aren't often seen intuitively and socially as national champions. It's such a struggle to break through some of those gender-based barriers. The strength gained through mentorship can be the wellspring of that quiet reserve you need to make it out of the Consolations and into the Finals.
Here are Isolde’s thoughts:
1) Find a mentor who embraces your communication style. One mentor once told me to "read a book". Hmmm, he didn't know that in general, I hate to read. Another once answered a bridge question in a cryptic three word e-mail. Hmmm, but buy him a drink after the game is over and you will receive a wealth of information. What worked for me is e-mail. From the moment I presented my first hand via the keyboard, we were off. There was something calming about the physical distance, and the forgiving time lapse added to the learning process.
2) Don't get too many mentors. You'll avoid a lot of anguish and confusion if you stick to one or two mentors. This is the problem. For the most part there is a element of style in bridge, and there certainly are different approaches. I once heard three different responses from three mentors to the same question, true story. Pick a style that works for you (for me the style was extremely structured and mathematical, where communication systems were clearly defined).
3) Pay attention to what your mentor says. Take copious notes if you forget (I started writing down all my hands when I played, every last spot card). The most dreaded words I hear are: "Haven't we gone over that?" I don't believe I've heard those words often, but have said on occasion, "we've gone over that already.”
4) Work hard. Add your own blood, sweat and tears to the process. Before you approach your mentor with a difficult bridge problem, check the bridge encyclopedia, do a Google search, check the references your mentor gave you. Can you find an expert who has played the same hand, online perhaps, so you can review his/her declarer play card for card? Now your mentor will see that you are as invested as he/she is.
5) Be a true friend, since you can offer your mentor little besides friendship. Watch him/her play the major events. Congratulate him/her on the big wins. Make sure that your competitive passion is as tuned for your mentor as it is for your own level of play with your partners and teammates. Flowers, cards and the traditional "first place or don't come home" exchange, e-mailed before every "biggie", were my attempts at reciprocal karma.
6) Don't argue with your mentor. If, for whatever reason, you can't accept the guidance he/she gives at the time it was given, use this phrase to end the conversation: "I've heard you and appreciate your thoughts. I'll wait until I get as good as you to understand the concept in its entirety.”
7) Be trustworthy. Full-blown mentorship is a very intense private exchange. Trust that relationship to guard the special communications you share which are not meant for the entire world to hear.
8) Share what you learn. Once you think you are capable, share your mentorship teachings with others. I've written several bridge articles based on my mentor's teachings. I've also developed a special relationship with bridge players "in the making", Laura Beal, Dave Coleman, Paul Cieslak and others.
I can also share two potential problem areas in mentorship situations.
• Get your partner to buy into your mentor's approach to bridge. If it's a constant issue between you and your partner to accept your mentor's teaching, get a different mentor or partner. It isn't going to work for anyone.
• Remember that you will be competing against the person who is there to teach you. Make sure that you know his/her commitment is ultimately to his/her partners and teammates. The fact that he/she is willing to help develop players able to compete successfully at the national level makes goal setting easy. For both you and your mentor it isn't about getting an 80% in the local club game; it's about making it to the third day of the Blue Ribbon Pairs.
Hope these ideas are of help and you will enjoy a mentorship journey soon! For women this journey is essential. We aren't often seen intuitively and socially as national champions. It's such a struggle to break through some of those gender-based barriers. The strength gained through mentorship can be the wellspring of that quiet reserve you need to make it out of the Consolations and into the Finals.
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