Dedicated Players--We're Cool, Too!

Hi all,

I've been meaning to write about this for a long time and the words are finally coming to some kind of coherent order. I've been working with all of you somewhat and I hope that relationship is pretty well established so that some of the information below will come more of an 'aha!' then an ultra shock causing a major myocardial infarct.

I think it would be silly to deny that once one establishes a dedication to this fascinating game of bridge and becomes somewhat successful at it --something significant happens. Although most of us started geek-like we become even more so. Lots of the male players are accomplished attorneys. Lots of the females players are mathematicians dismayed by society to follow that course and 'vent' in this arena. Ask, you'll see that there is some merit to this.

Above that, however, we're human. We laugh and cry and send our sons/daughters in harm's way and are upset by that. We have goals beyond bridge and sometimes we are happy when we achieve them and upset when we don't. However, the latter is hardly noticeable as we practice our passion.

When we come to the table, we come to play. We've studied systems, card combinations, rules, advanced theories. Talk about the plant sale next door, the acquisition of a favorite pet or who is dating whom these days is not what's on our minds. In fact, it's distracting from performing the many analytical skills necessary to bid/play a hand. Please understand when we move the commotion/conversation back to the next hand.

Along with that we play very slowly. It's often important to us whether pard follows with the '2' or the '3' in an off suit. We make high-card and distribution decisions made on such plays. Forgive us if we ask to see the last trick for a long time as it languishes on the table. In general we post mortem 'on scene' very little. Most of the stuff we can talk about between boards, we did years ago. The rest takes much more analytical skill and emotion than what is available during the event. Excuse us if we don't commit to the discussion as to whether five spades was a good save or not. Mostly we know, and we also know if it is field protected.

We routinely call directors and have directors being called on us. It's normal, part of the game and we let the directors do their jobs and quickly get on to the next hand. No particular emotion about feeling guilty or animosity occurs. When we call the director, the person who calls speaks. The directors will then generally ask the others if the situation was explained accurately. Now is the time for others to talk.

In general we allow the opponents the dignity to come to terms with a bad board within their own partnership away from the opposition. So even if we successfully accomplish something, don't expect us to say much. If we screw up, silence is likewise appreciated, i.e. avoid saying 'the diamond was good in dummy' :)

We do love to talk about bridge and happily entertain questions about systems and hands we've played. However, we do that after the event is over for the most part -and we're particularly violent about it with email.--come join us.

It sometimes appears we overzealously ask questions about systems and carding. This is because most of us have thoroughly discussed these issues and just want to know if you have done likewise. We understand the term 'no previous discussion, assume standard' Please don't take it as an affront to your systems, we're just trying to analyze beyond imagine the high card and distribution placements of the cards. Let us be the geeks we are. Expect us to discuss defenses to your new conventions on the fly so we're ready for them.

Most of us have habits acquired over years of learning and growing that may seem foreign to you. For example, when someone asks us to be teammates and we have a commitment to other teammates we merely say 'we're not available'. We know choices about teammates can be as sensitive as choices about events and partnerships. We handle all that with kid gloves because we know there are egos on the line (mainly ours)

Most of us don't get overly excited about a particular event score or win/loss. Sometimes this is in our control (e.g. we got enough rest or nutrition to perform well) or not in our control --(e.g. the cards didn't match our system well --weak nt is a good example). We get much more excited about that one save that worked out well, or the intra finesse play we found or the one hand that matched our system perfectly. So expect conversations to steer in that direction. Major regional and national events are notable exceptions of course.

Often, as seeded players, we get to field comments like: "Man, I've been avoiding playing against you all day.""Oh, now we're really going to get beat up.""Oh, do we have to play against you good players, too." Although to a certain extent we value our commitment to the game and relish in executing it successfully, there isn't one of us who wouldn't temporarily step into your lives and embrace your achievements. We're jealous of the math degree from Stanford, the Public Health awards you've received, the businesses you've established and the careers you've had educating our young folk! Professor emeritus from Annapolis, you've got to be kidding me --Head of the math department at SOU --you've got to be kidding me! Professor of Dentistry at OHSU, you've got to be kidding me. Please be appreciative of that two-board moment we get to enter each other's lives and if by chance we find that slam against you that no one else has, or we take a daring sequence that works, or we force you to play good defense, talk to us about it afterwards. Many times I've played hands against you where later I wished I had had the opportunity to chat. What better resource might you have for your bridge growth.

Above all, we take it as a compliment when someone who is excited about bridge and has potential asks us to play with them. Keep asking, knowing, however that our main commitment is to our own events and partnerships. But please be forgiving if you might on occasion experience a bridge culture shock playing with us. A couple more hands and you'll be right where we are! Trust me on that one. It's infectious. And quite frankly our behavior and demeanor is so religiously practiced that it truly becomes second nature -to us anyway.

Of course there is another salient reason I entered into this discussion. Misunderstandings of others' behavior can lead to isolation --(or much worse) and we all know there are plenty of other reasons more serious than bridge that cause between-person frustrations! See you (smiling with appreciable understanding) at the tables.

Isolde 6322